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Ceremony Parts

Prelude

Background music is provided during the seating of the guests.

Pre-processional

This is sometimes referred to as the "Seating of the Mothers". The last guests to be seated before the Processional include (in order); the grandfathers, the groom's father, the grandmothers, the mother of the groom and lastly, the mother of the bride. More informally, the groom's father walks to his seat following behind the groom's mother and her escort. If there are step-parents involved, a step-mother to the groom and the groom's father are seated before the step-father and groom's mother. Then the step-mother of the bride is seated, followed by the mother of the bride with the step-father of the bride (unless he is involved as an escort).

Processional

This is how everyone in the wedding party gets to the front of the wedding site and so it is included in the staging or "choreography" of the ceremony. Special processional music is usually played during this time. Often smaller weddings will not include a processional and the bride and groom will start the ceremony with everyone already up front. It is the mother of the bride's responsibility to watch for the bride and listen for the start of the bridal music, so that she can stand to signal the guests to stand for the bride entrance. (Here the wedding party is coming UP the aisle.)

Greeting

These are the very first words your officiant says in greeting family and guests at the very beginning of the ceremony.

Presentation of the Bride

This takes place immediately after the Greeting. The officiant asks the bride's escort a question to the effect of "who brings Bride here to marry Groom?".

Invocation

These are the officiant's introductory words that speak about marriage and the occasion of the wedding. These words may be included as part of the Greeting, in which case, the Invocation is not necessary.

Ritual: Honoring Loved Ones

Memorial

The mention of loved ones unable to be at the ceremony but who are present in spirit. This can be included in the Greeting or placed as a separate section. This can be tailored to be appropriate for those living or deceased. It can be generic, or specific names of the departed can be mentioned.

Moment of Silence

The officiant asks everyone to join in a moment of silence.

Honoring Parents

Words that acknowledge and honor your parents. Often followed with a presentation of flowers (typically roses) to the mothers.

Declaration of Intent

This adds a more traditional feeling to the proceedings. The officiant asks the bride and groom if they are prepared to enter into the marital commitment. The traditional answer is "I am". Other answers may be "We are" or "We do".

Ritual: Community Vows

The guests are asked to join in a promise to witness the couple's commitment and to support the bride and groom's new life as a married couple. This type of guest involvement is more typical of a modern ceremony. The guests' response of "We will" or "We do" is often followed by the officiant calling for blessings on the bride and groom as they take their place in the community as a couple. The officiant may also ask for the blessings, support and encouragement for the couple by the parents and siblings. In which case, the family members answer "we do".

Ritual: Unity Candle

This popular ritual crosses the boundaries of all religious denominations and spiritual persuasions. The bride and groom (or their mothers) light two individual candles, whose flames come together later in the ceremony to form a third flame on the larger, center "unity candle". Usually the candle lighting is accompanied by a beautiful instrumental piece of music that is a favorite of the couple.

Readings

Many couples like to incorporate an inspirational or scriptural reading or a romantic poem into the ceremony. These can be read by the officiant, a guest or family member or even the bride and/or groom. Readings can be scattered throughout the ceremony and often are used as a segue way into the part of the ceremony that follows it.

Homily

Comments by the officiant that usually include eloquent and wise words about what marriage means and the occasion in general and the couple in particular.

Sharing

Uplifting words describing the bride and groom and their relationship, that are written by friends or relatives, often one or more of the parents. These can be read by the writer, or by the officiant.

Marriage Vows

The sharing of the Marriage Vows is the pivotal point in the wedding ceremony. These can be written entirely by the couple, or provided by the officiant, or co-authored with the officiant. The couple can memorize them to speak them aloud in the ceremony, or they may choose to read them from a card, or repeat them, when prompted phrase by phrase by the officiant. Marriage vows can also be similar to the declaration of intent, done in a question format, with the bride and groom responding "I do" separately. The marriage vows can also be combined with the Ring Exchange.

Family/Children Vows

These vows can be added when the bride or groom or both already have children and want to involve them in the ceremony. The idea here is that while this day is about your marriage, it is also about the joining of all of you together as a family. These vows allow the step-parent and/or children to state their commitment to the family unit.

Personal Vows

In addition to the Marriage Vows, these vows allow the bride and groom a chance to share their personal feelings with each other. These can be prepared ahead of time or delivered impromptu.

Prayers/Blessings

Prayers and blessings can be used in various spots throughout the ceremony. Prayers are religious and always are directed to the supreme being recognized by a particular secular persuasion. A blessing can be a type of prayer that beseeches the higher power for good things for the beneficiaries of the prayer. However, a blessing can also be used in a non-secular, and perhaps, spiritual fashion, as a statement of good wishes.

Ritual: Dedication of the Hands

Many cultures have different ways of blessing/dedicating the hands of the bride and groom. In Thai ceremonies, for example, the couple kneels as elder, married relatives pour blessed water from a conch shell into their hands and offer words of blessing. In a Hindu tradition, to symbolize spiritual and physical unity, water is poured over the couple's hands, which are holding a vase filled with roses, while prayers and blessings are recited. In any tradition, a hand blessing is a ritual meant to draw the bride and groom closer to one another. Because there actually is a physical connection between the veins in the hands and the heart, the hands have always been believed to be connected to one's emotions. So a hand blessing symbolically brings two hearts together. Typically, in a modern ritual, the bride and groom take turns holding each other's hands, palms up, while the officiant reads several statements describing what those hands will bring into the relationship. The ritual is closed with a prayer or well-wishes for the couple.

Ring Exchange

Prayer

A special prayer can be offered to bless the rings.

Words of Explanation

The officiant describes the symbolism behind the exchanging of wedding rings.

Ring Vows

The officiant reads words for the bride and groom to repeat while putting the ring on each other's finger.

Pronouncement

The officiant offers a statement declaring the bride and groom to be legally husband and wife. Often it includes the naming of the authority by which the officiant is empowered to perform marriages: typically the state or other legal jurisdiction for the wedding, and often, the officiant's church affiliation or role.

Closing/Nuptial Blessing

This is a short prayer or benediction; either asking for the blessings of God or a higher power on the newlyweds, or simply offering the good wishes of the community.

Kiss

The groom is told he may kiss the bride or the couple is told they may seal their vows with a kiss. This confirms the pronouncement and more often than not, the guests will applaud.

Introduction

The officiant introduces the bride and groom to the guests for the first time as a married couple. This may be as "Mr. and Mrs.", or as "husband and wife" but appropriate wording can accommodate the couple that uses different last names. The family group may be introduced if the bride and/or groom's children have been a part of the ceremony.

Recessional

This is how everyone in the wedding party gets from the front/focus of the wedding site back down the aisle. It is included in the staging or "choreography" of the ceremony. Even though smaller weddings do not include a Processional, they may include (however short) a Recessional, where the bride and groom leave the proximity of the spot where they stood during the ceremony. Special recessional music is often used during this time. (Here the wedding party is going DOWN the aisle.)

Announcement

The officiant provides instructions to the guests concerning how they should exit and/or directions on how to get to the reception. The announcement may also include information for the guests about a receiving line, or when the bridal party will rejoin the guests.

Receiving Line

It will be decided ahead of time whether or not the wedding party will form a receiving line, and where it will be located. It is helpful for all involved to know in advance exactly where they will be standing. Usually the recessional order is the proper receiving line order. The receiving line can be formed immediately after the ceremony at the site, unless the formal ceremony site photos must be taken first.

Reception

The officiant can offer a prayer of grace before the reception meal. The prayer usually incorporates a blessing for the new couple.

A wedding officiant may also be referred to as a: celebrant, clergy, officiator, officiate, official, pastor, preacher, wedding minister, minister, magistrate, justice of the peace, JP, priest, judge, facilitator, counselor and rabbi. Rev. Elaine Radloff is a Michigan wedding officiant, MI wedding officiant, (a non-denominational minister) who can officiate your ceremony if you are getting married in Michigan, are having a wedding in Michigan, are having a MI wedding or are wanting to get married in Michigan. Rev. Elaine will write and perform a wedding ceremony (marriage ceremony) or vows renewal (vow renewals) ceremony with as much of your input as you would like. Elaine performs indoor weddings and outdoor weddings in Michigan. Printed ceremony programs are also available. A sample wedding ceremony is included in a packet mailed to you. Also please remember that getting married online, getting married on the web, or getting married on the Internet, is not legal. Rev. Elaine Radloff will marry you in person and sign your marriage license so it is a legal marriage, a legal wedding.